Tuesday, February 22, 2011

On Trust and Disappointment

Today was terrible. Primarily because of the last hour of my work day. I received awful news that I had been anticipating since yesterday--anticipating by not sleeping well, finding my stomach in knots and having difficulty focusing on little else. This news does not affect my job directly (I am still employed), but it does affect a friend and mentor that I love--someone with whom I have worked closely for several years now. While this doesn't affect where I go to work daily, it does affect my every move in that job, every possible problem to be solved, every project to tackle.

Trust, of the deepest kind, is a quality that is rare, I know this on an intellectual level and on a personal level. Trust is built by consistency over time. For quite some time, I kept myself from allowing trust to enter into my professional relationships. I had my work acquaintances and my real friends. Over the past several years, a select few work acquaintances have sneaked in(I really feel like this should be 'snuck in')--crossing over into real-friend territory. And blast if that is leaving my tummy in knots knowing that one of them is hurting. And knowing that my job, that I love, will absolutely change irrevocably beginning tomorrow.


Deana said...

Trust is hard to find, but disappointment is even harder to hide from.

I'm so glad those "work friends" snuck in. There was a time when I'd have been jealous, but now I realize that more people bringing joy and wisdom to your life only makes you a better friend, wife, mom, sister, and daughter to everyone else.

Courtneytcu98 said...

True for you, too, dearest.