I have spent the past two days in 'leadership training,' which might be more accurately entitled 'Personal Relationship Building.' Often people dread this sort of learning experience, for good reason, right? Well this was something I had been looking forward to for awhile. The material was so captivating that i only got drowsy once and checked Facebook one time. Unheard of.
This kind of personality-analyzing, introspective thinking totally spins my wheels. Geeks.Me.Out. The Myers-Briggs Type Inventory has long been my go-to for analyzing myself. After one particularly stimulating workshop years ago, I even bought the book "Please Understand Me," which is entirely based on the MBTI. I thought I was well-informed on this front. Enter our facilitator, who wrote his thesis on the MBTI. That makes me all hand-flappy and giddy.
I could create volumes on what I learned, personal applications, how I'm going to modify my relating, how to understand the communication of others, how to ask for what I need. . . but i'm fairly sure I'll get tired before I could adequately explain everything AND that most people's attention would wane long before I had reached my conclusion. I try to assimilate information as I learn, making the most by applying to specific situations--that means I spent a ton of time thinking about my husband, my parents and my office colleagues.
1. There is a theory called "Falsification of Type." This means that assuming a different type of relating from your personality leads to depression and anxiety. I have long-heard that I'm too practical, too literal, too schedule-oriented, not spontaneous, not out-going enough. I've tried. I've TRIED, people. The source of my anxiety and depression? Me thinks this deserves a closer look.
2. Shame scripts. Taking time to observe situations that cause a sense of dismay/shame, feel the emotion and then be aware of my use of the coping strategies on the Compass of Shame.
3. If I ever feel like I'm winning an argument, I should immediately apologize and start over. Debating a feeling or situation inherently creates a winner and a loser.
4. Never lose empathy. As a leader and a parent, I strive to use Restorative Leadership practices that marry empathy and accountability.
And there I will stop. Basically, Charles Gaby provided insights and thoughts that will have me chewing on them for weeks, if not months or years to come.
I love to learn. Seriously. I'm a HUGE geek when it comes to this stuff. I'm the kid raising her hand all the time. Talking to the facilitator on breaks. Yep. My over-achieving roots totally show up when in a learning environment that speaks to my natural curiosity. Whew. Just the refreshing challenge of thought that I needed.