Yep. It's True.

Every encounter and I mean every. one. right now begins with something along the lines of: "OMG, you are still pregnant? How do you feel? When is your due date? How do you feel? Is Elliott excited? How do you feel? Are you so ready?"

So on this, my due date, I give you the answers.*
1. Yes, I am indeed, still pregnant. Eternally and whale-like. Thanks so much for pointing out the obvious.

2. I feel really pregnant. Said with a polite smile. (Blank stare)

3. My due date is May 15th. Now I will have to say, "Oh, my due date was Sunday." Pitiful stares will commence.

4. I feel like my pelvis is splitting in two.

5. Elliott is two. Two, people. He has no effing clue about what's going to happen in his world. Yes, he thinks he is excited, but honestly, how much can he comprehend? I'm pretty sure Ell is going to think that we have lied to him about the greatness of having a new baby around when he realizes he's not the center of attention. Especially when Glammy is preoccupied with Baby Brook-Brook.

6. I feel like my every move is an effort, but you know, I'm making the best of things.

7. Ready? A complicated question to be sure. Yes, I am ready to meet this sweet little girl, ready to not be pregnant. But ready for sleepless nights? Not so much. Ready to see my sweet little boy regress and feel lost when he has to share mommy & daddys' attention? Nope. Honestly, the newborn phase is not my favorite. I would like to have about a week of it and then fast forward to 3 1/2 months or so. Evidently that part of my mom-gene is on the blink.

8. As to how I feel, I am impatient. I don't do well in limbo, so my impatience and grouchiness level is rising daily. I wake up everyday thinking today is The Day. That, or I vacillate to the opposite end of the spectrum of thinking I will go all the way to the last possible moment and my doctor will have to induce my labor. Despite walking around for 2+ weeks at 4cm dilated. That's like half-way to being complete. That means my body might just hate me. Especially since I have contractions steadily every evening, all to no avail.

And that my friends, is how I am feeling. Enter into conversation at your own risk.

{I typically try to stay away from profanity on this site, so if easily offended, step away now.}